chocolate crowns

how long have I been standing here
forgetting to catch my breath
   in moments when I feel
invincible, infinite, immune
 to the world
   to myself
a chocolate crown adorns my head
  memoir one page long
to childhood of yesterday
dreams which stood larger than
   the heads they sat in
wooden soldiers looked like
     giants in the shiny black boots
lined up against the dresser top
      pulled close against a wall.

how long have I been sitting here
afraid to leak a whisper out of
the cardboard lungs that do not breathe
    when I was little I stared at the sky
and counted the stars in their infinity
    those stars were full of hope
yesterday I stared at the sea
    it shook the ground I walked on
today I felt no taller as an inching worm
  I gazed into the sky and I was so unalone
the stars were dancing quietly
       to a song no one can hear
and at that moment when I felt small
 I was a giant still.

xoxo Johanna