Too Huge World





“What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” ― Jack Kerouac, On the Road
I don't like saying goodbyes. They never feel right, they feel forced, or too emotional or not emotional enough. You never feel like you've spent enough time with a person, you feel a little cheated, wonder why you're going anywhere at all. Hugs are never long enough, kisses never sweet enough, and no words can truly express what you're feeling. You try to make it easier say "I'll be back soon!" Or, "the month with be over before we know it!" But mostly you just want to hold on for a little bit longer, take their hand in yours, smile and say "never mind, I'm not going anywhere."

Last Saturday (or Sunday, really) after one of the longest days of my life, I finally made it home. I loved Chicago, I loved it a lot. I loved the people I saw in the subway and busses, with their stories to tell that I'll never know. People with crazy colored hair, or men wearing high heels and beautiful clothes and holding hands with pretty girls who don't smile unless they're laughing. I loved the city and the parks and the cute tourists pulling each other along with excitement as they try to see everything before they have to leave (I feel you there, friend.) I loved the museums and chatting excitedly with Emy and Avi and Lidia about science (we mostly know nothing, but it still makes us wide eyed and happy). Basically, I loved it all and it was hard to say goodbye.

Now I'm saying my goodbyes again, though I've only been home for a few days since I'm headed to Mexico on Thursday for a month. Started with the first goodbye yesterday, which I didn't like at all, but who likes goodbyes?

xoxo Johanna
ps. How are all of you guys? Long time no see (write?). How has your summer been so far? Anything new and exciting happening?